Opinion
Breakdancing Charles was cooler than Prince William will ever be
Kate Halfpenny
Regular columnistA summer day at Windsor Castle and, look out, here comes Prince William for a meeting with Dad. Sunnies on, fanging along on an electric scooter looking about as jazzy as he ever has (the fabled white-jeans yoga episode aside. Can recommend Googling.)
Posted on TikTok, a video of the royal ride went viral. Racked up millions of views. Shared by serious publications including Time and The Times, it had the internet raving over William’s “dad energy” and his ownership of a jumper.
Prince William rides an electric scooter at Windsor Castle.
The power demo of a man staying upright on two wheels came right after William’s other recent viral moment. His flailing dance style to Shake It Off at a Taylor Swift concert in London flashed around the world, and it seemed for a minute that the heir was on a crusade to make daggy dad style hot AF.
“Prince William is definitely the COOLEST PRINCE EVER!!” wrote one fan on X. “I LOVE IT!”
And here’s where umbrage must be taken.
Enter King Charles, formerly known as prince. Yes, his phone-sex style may need work, but he’s a daredevil skier and breakneck horseman – arguably harder than scooter riding – who has boogied all over the world. Mexico, Melbourne, Brazil. At his 30th birthday, he busted moves onstage at Buckingham Palace with The Three Degrees during one of his favourite bangers.
Prince Charles attempts to breakdance in 1985.
In 1985, reported the Associated Press, Prince Charles threw royal decorum aside and “got down on his knees with youngsters at a workshop for the unemployed and joined them in breakdancing”.
Yep, breakdancing. Yes, there’s video. And yes, Charles’ moves will leave you incredulous.
But what I really love is you can see it’s excruciating when he’s invited onto the d-floor. But he backs himself. Or isn’t afraid to look silly. Both very cool attributes.
The Charles versus William Cool-Off had me wondering if I’m biased towards the olden days and am stuck in a past that looks better in the rearview mirror than it actually was at the time, or whether older stuff truly has the wood on its modern equivalents.
I’m not the best person to talk about this because apart from Gang of Youths and Dua Lipa no new songs have passed my ears since the early 1990s, but music was better back in the day.
Or so says a recent analysis of 12,000 songs in English released between 1980 and 2020, which found modern songs have been dumbed down and made more repetitive than they were in the 1980s.
It’s down to streaming platforms and our short modern attention span, where we skip to the next song if it doesn’t grab us in three seconds. The generations who saved pocket money to buy records or tapes at Brashs expected more of a stimulating slow burn with their music.
According to research by scientists from the University of Innsbruck, there’s a trend towards simplifying lyrics and overusing choruses. The vocabulary range has shrunk, and the structure of songs is more predictable.
Anyone who’s ever belted out Khe Sanh (so, everyone) or How To Make Gravy or Bat Out Of Hell (my forever guilty pleasure) doesn’t need data to tell them writing used to be more complex. Told stories. Contemporary songs sound whingy to me, with lots of fake emoting or boasting the club can’t even handle them.
Not a patch on Galveston.
What else can we compare? Kan Tong sweet and sour sauce v Uber Eats. Blue eyeshadow and strawberry lip gloss v 100 hours of contouring. Three on the tree manual cars (way more fun) v automatic cars (way more safe.)
Torquay vs Europe. Raiders of the Lost Ark v Marvel movies. Hours on the hallway landline phone v texting. Miller shirts vs Uniqlo uniforms. Technology that felt exciting v invasive and overwhelming. Political activism and social change v old men warmongers and the far right’s rise.
And yeah, optimism for the future v anxiety and not enough houses and the return of the mullet. Wait, is the hot tub time machine a real thing?
Kate Halfpenny is the founder of Bad Mother Media.
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