Opinion
Did a colleague mock my story without me realising?
Jonathan Rivett
Careers contributorIn a meeting I told a story about the amazing work a person I manage had done to retain a client. We always talk about “going above and beyond” and this was a great example of that.
At the end of my story, one colleague said the words “and then everybody clapped” and I heard some sniggers. I’ve asked a few managers in our office what that means. Although nobody was quite sure of the exact meaning, a few agreed that it was sarcastic. Did I just embarrass my junior colleague without intending to?
While being rostered on to work on a public holiday can feel like a tough gig, if your work has given you enough notice, there may not be much you can do.Credit: John Shakespeare
Your management colleagues were right: the comment was sarcastic.
“… and then everybody clapped” is a meme that’s been pinballing around the internet for more than a decade. A meme, as the linguistics academic Professor Kirby Conrod described it, is “a self-replicating chunk of information”.
Although they’ve been around for a very long time, today memes are firmly ensconced in digital culture, passed between forums and social media platforms and various other online gathering places.
The subtext underlying “everybody clapped” is that the story in question is so implausible it can only have taken place in a Disney-fied alternate reality. Within this world, acts of superheroic ingenuity or courage are not only frequent, but lead to raucous acclaim from neutral observers and passersby.
There’s a difference between rolling your eyes at some vacuous management wank and mocking the genuine efforts of a co-worker.
When applied fairly, it’s an acerbic response to outrageous exaggeration or extravagant fabrication, a way of saying “I don’t believe you” without using those words.
But it can also be employed with snide contempt for a perfectly credible statement or anecdote. When used like this, it’s nothing more than a nasty jibe, usually from a person who simply doesn’t want to believe what they’re being told.
In your email, you gave a precis of the story you told in the meeting. I won’t outline it here because most of the details are quite particular and will quickly give your identity away. If my opinion is worth anything, though, it sounds entirely plausible.
Yes, what you recounted was the kind of back-from-the-brink business success story that doesn’t take place all that often. But that’s what made it worth telling. It certainly doesn’t strike me as grandstanding or self-promotion. In fact, it seems like you didn’t make it about you at all.
Should you be worried about having told the story and embarrassed your workmate? On the contrary, I think you should be (dare I say it) applauded for taking the time to publicly acknowledge the excellent work of the person who reports to you.
To me, bringing team members’ successes to the attention of others is the hallmark of a good manager. If anyone embarrassed your colleague, it was the person who made the remark. But, really, they should be embarrassed by their own behaviour.
I can empathise with people who approach modern corporate settings with a healthy dose of cynicism. In fact, in some workplaces it’s thoroughly essential. But there’s a huge difference between rolling your eyes at some vacuous and self-congratulatory management wank and mocking the genuinely extraordinary efforts of a co-worker.
If you’re concerned that your charge heard the taunt and is feeling down about it, have a chat with them. Underscore your sincerity and the fact you genuinely value their work.
But please don’t let the mean-spiritedness of one or two office smart-arses force you to second-guess yourself, especially when it comes to advocating for your associates.
Send your questions to Work Therapy by emailing jonathan@theinkbureau.com.au
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