Opinion
Money can’t buy happiness? No, but it certainly helps
Paridhi Jain
Money contributorMy parents were minimalists before minimalism was popular. They never really chased material things to “keep up with the Joneses” and always lived within their means.
While some were upgrading their cars, Dad drove the same second-hand Toyota for years. While some overextended themselves to buy their dream house, we lived comfortably in a small apartment.
Why do we insist that specifically money doesn’t buy happiness? What’s wrong with having it both ways?Credit: Simon Letch
I remember Dad sitting me down in primary school to explain the difference between “wants” and “needs” and the perpetual roller-coaster of emotions that attachment to material desires could cause.
I was taught early on that material possessions can’t give you lasting fulfilment. It was a profound teaching to get at a young age. It almost seems ironic that I would go on to spend much of my working life talking about money – the most material of possessions, perhaps.
Now, having worked with so many to transform their relationship with money, I’ve seen both sides. So, I can appreciate the truth to this sentiment but also see the nuance that doesn’t get talked about enough.
The truth is that nothing can give you happiness. Happiness and fulfilment are internal states.
No one is walking around telling you that religion, education, career, family also do not guarantee happiness. Why single out money?
No external circumstance or possession – family, children, a great job, a beautiful body, nice clothes, good health – can guarantee lasting happiness or fulfilment.
But all those things can impact your wellbeing and how easy or hard it may be for you to cultivate an environment or make choices that are more conducive to happiness.
This is supported by research which shows the household’s level of net wealth, assets and debt are important determinants of overall life satisfaction and financial wellbeing. While research once claimed that happiness doesn’t increase beyond $75,000 income, this has now been debunked.
So, it’s always been curious to me – why do we insist that specifically money doesn’t buy happiness? No one is walking around telling you that religion, education, career or family do not guarantee happiness. Why single out money?
Partly because it’s one area of life many of us seem to carry the most unrealistic expectations about. Many of us live in a state of deferred happiness believing, “When I have $X, then I’ll feel (insert emotion).”
But it’s also a way to soothe our feelings of shame or inadequacy if we aren’t where we want to be. It’s the classic “I didn’t want it anyway” response to not getting something we doubt is possible for us to have.
In the latter instance, you might experience:
- Internal conflict: Does part of you admire or envy people who seem financially better off? Do you quickly cover those feelings up with a story that financial success is (insert negative attribute e.g. selfish, overrated, fake)?
- Suppressed desires: Do you genuinely not desire things or do you talk yourself out of desires because that’s more compatible with your financial situation? Does the idea of a nice vacation not even pique your interest or are you scared to want something you don’t think you can have?
- Justifying undesirable or unhealthy behaviours: Do you try to justify financial behaviour that you secretly feel guilty about? Maybe you overspend or are inattentive to your finances but you tell yourself it doesn’t matter because “money doesn’t buy happiness”, right?
So, do you genuinely believe that money doesn’t buy happiness? Or is that a mantra that allows you to avoid uncomfortable feelings?
If you’re in the latter camp – where it’s easier to tell yourself that “money isn’t everything” as a way to soothe your financial anxiety – here are some perspective shifts that can help:
- Start with acceptance: I’ve worked with many who once denounced money as a way to avoid the pain of their situation. Facing and accepting the financial pain was a key step to enabling them to make changes that moved them towards a healthier, happier relationship with money.
- Notice where this perspective might be holding you back: These beliefs can cause us to devalue the role of money in our lives. This can lead to apathy, lack of motivation and procrastination towards bettering our financial life. After all, if it’s not something we value or consider important, why put energy towards it?
- Identify where shedding this belief might be socially frowned upon: Is this a belief that is currently consistent with your social environment? Is “not caring about money” seen as somehow morally superior? So, how much do you genuinely believe this? Or would choosing to believe otherwise be out of step with your community, religious group, family, or friend circle?
What if we didn’t make money and happiness mutually exclusive goals, as though we have to choose one or the other? What if we could appreciate that each plays an important role in our lives?
After all, money won’t make you happy, but neither will the lack of it. So, why not have both?
Paridhi Jain is the founder of SkilledSmart, which helps adults learn to manage, save and invest their money through financial education courses and classes.
- Advice given in this article is general in nature and is not intended to influence readers’ decisions about investing or financial products. They should always seek their own professional advice that takes into account their own personal circumstances before making any financial decisions.
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